bend_it_like | Deerington: 2010 Howard Hill

[ Also... the question of the century, a little bit. Mako frowns, looking away yet again to the dead-grass patch that has become their backyard. ] I. You're. You were already interested in Asami, right?

Already? I've been, um, interested in her for a while. [ Somehow it's still hard to say that out loud. ] So, what? You want to go out with him to see if you're interested? I think that's fine to do.

[ Korra peers at Mako, standing a bit too close to him. ] Do you like guys?

[ Mako very clearly does not want to be having this conversation, because he takes a small step back, groaning under his breath. ] That isn't—no. I want to know how you knew.

How I knew I like her? [ Korra crosses her arms, letting him move away from her, but that doesn't stop her from narrowing her eyes at him. ] I dunno. I just liked her. How did you know you liked me?

You annoyed me until you disappeared and then I was worried sick. [ His words are very, very dry. But Mako stops moving away, at least, instead makes a frustrated little sound in his throat. ] How'd you feel about... the whole. Liking another girl. Thing?

[ Why is this Mako's life, this is so awkward, he hates it. He's never talked about this. He doesn't have the words to talk about the half-feelings he squashed when he was younger, the admiration for older benders with the Triple Threats, all young self-assured grace and cocky smiles. Mako's always had a thing for people with a lot of confidence, and it was always safer to channel those feelings into women, because that was what the Triple Threats, with all their ill-gotten power, valued.

He hadn't let himself dwell on the other feelings, really. Didn't know what to do with them, and apparently still doesn't. ]

I didn't really think about it. [ Korra says it simply, and it's mostly the truth. She liked Mako, so she dated Mako. She likes Asami, so, at least Mako has told her, she dates Asami. Maybe that took a little longer to figure out, but she was never upset about it or anything ] Well. I did think about it, a lot. I thought about her, a lot. And after a while I realized that I like her, the same way I used to like you.

Uh. [ Okay, this is getting a little weird. She laughs. ] Yeah. I think it took longer to figure out because she's a girl, and people don't really do that. But I don't see the problem with girls dating girls or guys dating guys. If anything, we're in the right place for it. Everyone seems to do it here.

[ Mako lets out a slow breath. It's almost like he's deflating, some of the fight leaving him. This is Korra. He has a hard time remembering, sometimes, that Korra kind of already knows the worst of him, and wouldn't hold what he still can't help thinking of as an exploitable weakness against him.

Even if he doesn't think that about Korra herself. Even if that logic only applies to him, and he would never hold it against anyone else.

He meets her eyes after a moment, his jaw working silently until he can pick out the right words from the swirling, sleep-deprived mess in his own head. ] That's the thing. People don't do it. [ The Triple Threats made it clear—not through saying it, nothing so blatant as that—that it wasn't normal or okay, that if you were anything other than macho and tough and practically fighting off women with a stick then you weren't much of anything. ] But. You do. And... Chloe does. And David does. Apparently.

So, people do do it. We just don't talk about it.

Uh... [ Korra frowns for a moment, then holds up a hand ] Stay here.

[ She trots back into the house and finds the comic books she stole from the library stashed under her mattress. She flips through them and finds the part that she's looking for.

She brings it back to Mako and holds it out. ] I told you about these, right? The books. About us. In them, Kya told me that she likes women too.

If Aang's daughter likes women, and Aang was fine with that, it's fine, right?

[ Mako waits in silence, scrolling back up through the messages to David, looking again at what he said: that he was flirting, that it was fun, but that he's actually interested.

Mako had sort of figured it was a Wu situation before. That David was flirting just because that's the sort of person he is, or because he wanted something out Mako.

He's sort of grateful when Korra reappears and it isn't just him and the messages anymore, pulls the book closer to himself with a small frown and stares at the page for a long moment. ]

Well, and. You're the Avatar. [ Mako glances up, that frown still firmly in place. ] And. I don't know for sure, but—Wu basically spent three years flirting with me.

Yeah. I am, but he's Aang. [ There's a difference. She's still figuring things out. Aang had it down, at least by the end there.

She blinks. ] Wu flirted with you too?

Wasn't Aang a kid when he did most of his impressive things? It still counts. You've saved the world at least twice now.

[ Look, deflecting! He goes a bit pink at her picking up on what he said about Wu, though, glances away with a little huff. ] Yeah. I think so. He used to... call me weird names. And he was, uh. Very touchy.

Huh. [ She thinks about that for a second, then shakes her head. ] Well, thanks. I do okay with the world saving stuff. It's the other stuff I'm still working out.

But: none of that has anything to do with David. So? Do you want to date him? [ She's leaning in now, an annoying grin on her face ]

I don't know, Korra! [ Mako snaps, a little too sharp, maybe, but his face is redder and this is a sore subject, so. ] It's not that easy. I.

[ Spirits, this is really hard, and Mako feels kind of exposed out here in the backyard with those eyes looming above them. He curls a hand around Korra's arm and tugs her back through the open door into the house and the calming scent of the incense. Even just smelling it calms his nerves a little.

He shuts the door, just to be safe, and pulls her into the living room where they have the most incense going. ]

Whoa, Mako! [ She stumbles after him with a frown, then shoves him down toward the couch. ] What? Is it a secret? I don't know why you're getting all weird about this! He's just a guy.

You don't get it. [ Mako isn't surprised, somehow, but he doesn't sound as angry even as he drops onto the edge of the couch right where Korra pushed him. ] It's easy for you like it always is.

What's that supposed to mean? [ Korra stands there, her arms crossed, glaring down at him. ]

[ Mako makes a frustrated sound and lets his head drop, his shoulders hunched defensively. He still feels watched, his skin crawling with the sense of exposure. He doesn't have the words to talk about this, and Korra just—deals with it, like she deals with everything.

Bolin thinks Mako is such a strong person, and Mako has always tried to be that for him, for them both, but sometimes Korra is so much stronger than Mako ever could be. And he loves that about her, he always will, but it's hard in moments like this when he has no idea what to do and feels lost with it. She's so much better at this than he is.

But he has to try. ] When I was a kid, there was this... boy.

[ Korra watches him for a moment, then sighs, dropping down onto the floor in front of him, sitting cross legged. ] Yeah? What boy?

[ Mako hesitates, then meets her eyes. ]

I don't know. He was a little older. Got us in with the Triple Threats. He knew everything. All the secret ways around the city, the best places to get food— and I wanted to... be exactly like him.

[ Wow this is really embarrassing to talk about. ] That's what I thought. I'm realizing that it was, uh. A little more. Than that. But you didn't do that with the Triads, and I didn't exactly have time to focus on anything but keeping us in Zolt's good graces, so.

He doesn't have any power over you now. Or anyone.

Honestly, Mako, that's sort of how I felt about Asami. I didn't know if I wanted to be her, if I hated her, or if I just really, really liked her. I think it was all three at different points, there. [ Korra shakes her head with a laugh. She definitely hated Asami for a minute there when Mako and her were dating. Maybe she hated Mako a bit too, for getting to be with her. ]

So, you have always sort of liked boys. [ She prompts him gently ]

[ Mako lets out another slow breath, his mouth twisting. ] ...yeah. But I just. Made it stop. I didn't let myself. I know there can't be anything that wrong with it, in theory, but—it didn't seem like a thing that people could just do until, uh. Until you and Asami. Honestly.

[ Korra nods, and reaches out for his hand, helping him unclench it. She thinks about what she wishes people would say to her and takes longer than she normally would to answer with: ]

Then what's stopping you now?

[ Mako's grateful for the tiny amount of contact, unclenches his fingers just enough. Korra, at least, does her best not to judge. For all that this seemed like it was easier for her, Mako knows that there's a lot resting on Korra's shoulders, and that she deals with the same thing he does in a lot of ways: wanting to live up to her own expectations, and to the expectations of everyone around her.

It can't have been that much eaiser, and the fact that she's even willing to talk about it is—good. Very good.

He shifts a bit closer, lifting his head with a somewhat lost look on his face. ] It'd be... pretty final. I haven't thought about it for a while. Haven't had to.

Why would it be final? You'd go on a David, see if you like him. If not... well, it's no big deal, right? [ She gives him a small smile. ]

[ Mako snorts and actually smiles at her. ] Have you ever known me to be casual about dates?

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